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    Mar 15, 2006
    I still Love him....even tho you don't think he deserves me

    While I was engaged in one of my semi-regular Hip Hop bitch sessions with a friend recently, he made the comment, "You aren't sick of Hip Hop...he just hasn't f*cked you real good in a while". We both shared a good laugh, which was understandable considering the vulgar nature of his comment, but when I really got to thinking about it....the statement rang with so much truth.
    The "Ode to MY boo" is what came from my heart when I thought about my love affair with the culture of Hip Hop.
    Just imagine that feeling that comes over you when you are "randy" and have to wait(sorry...I'm trying to keep it real as possible with this post) or you're in a relationship where the luster is starting to fade ..........Frustration, irritability, re-evaluation of commitment - "what is commitment?", jealousy, wandering eyes, whining, venting, saying things you really don't mean, etc (add yourn)... You get the point where it's incredibley frustrating just to stand still. That's where I was...he he!

    The relationship one has with music is unique to each person as a fingerprint. For me its very romantic and sexual. Not sexual in the organic sense, but sexual in that when we come together.... I feel as if we are closer. Spent and utterly satisfied on so many levels after one of our sessions- anybody got a fug?? mmmmmmmmmmhhh Chile. I give love the way that I want to be loved - HARD!! I am not afraid to put my back into it and work up a sweat. My passion is so intense because I know his lovin is good! The issue is.....he's a whore and other people now know about his prowess too. I should have never told them other b*tches about how my boo puts it down.
    Born again Christians often talk about the joyful noise they are compelled to make whenever they think about Jesus or are in his house. Without pride or ego, they get up in front of their peers and speak their minds, cry, stomp their feet, faint, etc....All in the name of the Lord. For the good majority, this is not out of the need to be seen (although some of these weekend Holy rollers are full of it).....but more out of an inability to suppress their joy.
    I find it hard to hide my joy when it comes to ghood music.

    Suprisingly, some people are not moved by rhythm at all. This is evident when you go to shows. Ever seen people just standing there straight faced or sitting in their seats (for that matter) when a group is on stage and ROCKIN? You can't keep still ....you can't bring yourself to leave the venue (even if you can't stand the performer), but you have people around you engaged in side conversations and looking inexplicably bored. WTF? When this happens...I really want to go up to people and ask them "what is YOUR malfunction?" This site used to baffle me...but NOW I get it.... I am special. Thank you God for making MUSIC and ART move me! I know how much brighter my outlook on life is because I recognize the influence of these interests in my life.

    I know some may think its blasphemous to equate religion with Hip Hop. If you have a problem with it...it may be that you are judging Hip Hop unfairly with definitions provided by someone that is not in love with the culture. Also too...we are not talking about worshiping music...we are talking about the feeling music creates within those that respect its power.

    What is Hip Hop?

    Definitions of Hip Hop on the Web include:
    Hip hop is a cultural movement that began among urban African Americans in New York City in the early 1970s, and has since spread around the world. Some consider beat boxing the fifth element of hip hop; others might add political activism, hip hop fashion, hip hop slang, double dutching (an urban form of rope skipping) or other elements as important facets of hip hop. The term has since come to be a synonym for hip hop music and rap to mainstream audiences. ...

    Hip hop is a dance from the 1970s, 1980s, 1990's, and 2000s that fits with Rap music. Many hip hop moves and styles have been adapted into Lindy hop.Hip Hop came from the Bronx in America When all poverty was breaking out.The people just sort of made it.
    If you think those paragraphs define Hip Hop....yeah! I see why you have an issue.

    I know people who spend their entire life making music.
    That kind of dedication to anything - let alone an inanimate object - borders on compulsive. But isn't love the sweetest, most divine compulsion.

    Inanimate.........let's examine this word

    Definitions of inanimate on the Web include:
    -belonging to the class of nouns denoting nonliving things; "the word `car' is inanimate"
    -not endowed with life; "the inorganic world is inanimate"; "inanimate objects"; "dead stones"
    -breathless: appearing dead; not breathing or having no perceptible pulse; "an inanimate body"; "pulseless and dead"

    Life is a multi-faceted concept. Life may refer to the ongoing process of which living things are a part; the period between the birth (or a point at which the entity can be considered to be living) and death of an organism; the condition of an entity that has been born (or reached the point in its existence at which it can be established to be alive) and has yet to die; and that which makes a living thing alive.

    something that never was alive, like a rock http://www.oceanadventure.org/intro_out.html

    If you are like me....you believe that Hip Hop Lives, breaths and evolves..........There is nothing DEAD about this culture. Just people with what I will venture to call "DEAD" minds deciding the direction he will take in life.
    The industry is a racist college advisor hiding at an HBCU.

    What you see today is what he has become as a result of him not being nurtured and loved unconditionally. When I was younger, the music was diverse. When I was younger the art of MC-ing was about being creative and clever with your words....getting a message out that was real and not contrived prior to it being written. The music felt more authentic ...as if this artist was blessed with some kind of special sight. The music expressed sentiments that made me think I'd found the one person that "got" where I was coming from. In its state of "imperfect perfection" ....hip hop was the bad boy that made this good girl sneak out late at night. His lovin was good....& he always brought a bottle of Banana Red Mad Dog 20/20 for us to share.

    I went to the B'More Flava show on Friday 3/9/06 (Big Ups to Punk Hop N Be Difrint - Taz!) and could not FOR THE LIFE OF ME figure out why the people in the spot were not showing the guys from Tru Bill Entertainment (100 boys) the love they truly deserved. THEY WERE SO SO SO GOOD to me! Real crunk with lil guys up front. All of the main MCs were under 21 and their energy level was intoxicating.

    The best way I can describe their show is to say.....it was like being on a quiet subway platform (at the height of rush hour) ........then the train pulls in the station and everyone gets off at the same time. Different converations, people struggling with bags, dope feigns obstructing door ways because they are stuck in a nod.....school kids play fighting and giving each other dap...NOISE and rawkus......then within 4 mins....the station is quiet again as everyone has started their treks out the station and home.

    I tried to be all reserved....I was sitting in my seat like everyone else, but after a while I started to feel like I was being phony or lacked courage to stand up and pump my fist HARD for this act that obviously showed up to entertain. I wish I could post a video of the show..because no words can describe the feeling they gave me. I swear meeting them was a morale booster. They did not win the competition (which I don't understand), but I literally chased them out the building to get some contact info from them. I was affected by what they shared with me. That show aroused me...LOL! not literally, but I felt them. Didn't know these guys from anywhere....had never heard their music before....but I was instantly caught up in their web. I had to know more about them! ......."Keep on STACKIN my riches...I need them STACKS...I want them STACKS..gotta have those STACKS..." I can't get that damn song out my mind. LOL! That's that pif! Check out my MYSPACE page....I uploaded the song "STACKS" over the weekend.

    & That is why I love him. Even when I am pissed off with him & think he doesn't deserve me...he shows me why I fell in love in the first place. I must remain faithful cause after all ...he will always be my first love.
    posted by C Love "The Rap Addict" @ 3/15/2006 02:25:00 PM   0 comments
    Mar 14, 2006
    Ode to MY boo

    I love his shade of brown
    So, so in love with his profile

    I like him……mmmmh chile
    Would stepping to him be so foul?

    Tall, muscular physique
    Sized him up….. Guessed round size 12 feet

    He makes me nervous....so nervous…that’s always a good sign
    He makes me hot …skin’s burnin’ all over…..and not by crafty design

    Will he live up to the fantasy…..all aggressive the way I like them?
    Will his lips be firm like apples…..mmmmh…..? I’d like to bite em

    Will his tongue be smooth…taste like honey
    Will his word be bond…. good like cash money

    Thoughts of his touch…whether soft or rough…..
    Or the feel of hissssssss across my butt (I know........ that was nasty)

    Keep me up at night….release I must
    Rockin myself slowly....this shit is gettin’ tough

    Mmmmh I like him….
    day or night…I've seen him in different lights
    ….just know......... his game is tight

    Wishin my hand were his
    Thoughts of the jizz……Tis .............a shame

    Tis a shame ......there’s no one to blame…..just circumstances that have not bought us together

    He doesn’t even know the way he makes me tingle all ova my body
    Just being in his reach…games ova….and I'm no simple ass green shawty…

    Waaaaaaaay past the thoughts of ...."could we be together…."
    I'm already on our wedding day and how our love will last forever.

    It was crystal clear the first time I saw him back in early 84
    I saw his spirit and energy was RIGHT…his music just made me want him more

    Love you boo!

    Hip Hop you are the love of my life!

    Shoutout to Bizzy Bee who told me that his music will be used in several upcoming soda commercials!

    posted by C Love "The Rap Addict" @ 3/14/2006 03:26:00 PM   0 comments
    From MY window sill
    Some of yall may have read this...some of yall have not. Its time for me to write this year's "C Love's State of the City" address. What a difference a YEAR makes!

    Here it tis...........

    The Baltimore HIPHOP Scene: From my window sill

    I have found that being a woman in the industry is a gift and a curse.

    Gift: I get a lot of love for my mission. I find that people are very willing to offer advice and help me with my endeavors. The men help me because they respect what I'm doing, but also because they say I'm pretty. Most women help me because they think that my quest is commendable. There aren't very many women in the HIPHOP scene so most aren't catty to each other. It’s almost like a sorority of the brave. Most feel like I do, Baltimore has so much undiscovered talent. We are in it to win it.

    Then on the flip side of it (Curse): It is extremely sexist to say to someone that has come to you strictly for business, "you are sexy" - whether you are a man or woman. Sometimes men (in particular) think with the wrong "brain". I am often times offended, but because I know that I "need" this person to accomplish my ultimate goal, I will bite my tongue and not call him out for the immature slime that he presents himself to be. I am not a needy woman. I can really do with out all of the comments about my appearance, the questions about why I don't have a man and the ultimate "let's go out so that we can discuss you upcoming projects and how I might assist". It's funny because I know some guys that haven't been able to accomplish many of the same tasks that I have in a short period of time because of my gender. So, because of that, I think that they think they can get ahead faster by forming an alliance with me. If I was a cult leader, you’d hear about group suicides all over town.

    The Baltimore scene is very male dominated, but they welcome the ladies. A dude will get beat up if he disrespects a woman at a hip hop event. Most of the shows have a 3 to 1 male to female ratio. Hey, if a lady is looking for a man and any ole man will do, a hip hop show is a good place to find one. Not all of the guys are grimy thugs either. I see guys in suits come to shows all the time. One of the main problems I have recognized is that Baltimore artists have not learned that their subject matter is not female friendly. We can handle a few b*tches and h*es per night. Any thing beyond that is too much. Then couple this with the fact that a lot of these dudes come to a show looking any kind of way does not help to get women to appreciate their artistry.


    In Baltimore, there are very few women out here making noise in the HIPHOP community. I think that a woman will probably be the one’s that really help our city get on the map. I am learning new ways everyday to dodge the comments and keep things on the professional level. I have found that the circles you travel in definitely impact how people treat you. Surrounding yourself with people that respect your brain will not only make you feel better about the scarifies you have to make to survive as an entrepreneur or artist, but it will also help men to see that you can’t go there with everyone that you may find physically appealing. I would recommend that any woman trying to make her mark in this cutthroat area should have strong male alliances. Other men can let you know how to handle men and still leave them wanting to work with you. In this male dominated business, alliances and interacting with men are two of the major skills one must be mastered if a woman wants to be respected for what she brings to the table.

    I don't think that people fully grasp the amount of influence women really have in the industry. Women are the backbone. There is a female in the upper management of almost every label. Women are very prominent in the PR business. PR is how artists become household names. There really haven't been that many female artists or producers that have really made their mark in the same way that men have. It's sad because women are some of the better writers and business people. I am really looking forward to some of the new prospects in the game. I hope that a female artist emerges that is sexy, confident and intelligent who is able to redeem the FemCees name in HIPHOP. I am sick of the smut that is popular today. I don't dislike or fault Lil Kim or Foxy Brown for coming in the game and using sex as a weapon. No doubt, that is what they felt they had to do in order to get any kind of shine. I just feel that just like the era of conscious/political rap was unapologetically ushered out, I think "trash" rap needs to be kicked to the curb. It is not good for all of the women in the business that want to be respected for their creativity and not their body or ability to be sexually provocative.

    I see more and more female artists coming out that are mothers. I hope this translates into music that has more substance. I think that a strong female perspective would help young men to learn more about how women view life. So many people get their education from music. I want to see women representing those of us that want to work hard for everything we get in life. These women can also let guy listeners know how we feel when they say the things they do. I think more women are realizing that they too can take a seat at the table. There are a lot of women out here that are really making things happen. I hope that other females are inspired by the wonderful examples of females stepping up to get a hunk of the pie for themselves.

    In response to the common question of, “Is HIPHOP demoralizing to women?” I think that much of HIPHOP (in its current incarnation) is damaging to women. I feel that many MCs say things with out considering the fact that it is women that actually buy music. In the black community, the subject matter usually focuses on murder, mayhem and scandalous women. So this negativity towards women is magnetized. It’s all around us. I think that as more conscious MCs get the attention they deserve and more female MCs get into the game this will change a little. We still live in a very sexist society, but it can get a little better. I have faith. I try to set a good example whenever I write or attend events which are male dominated. I think that most of us are smart enough (as with everything else in life) to take what we need and want and leave the rest alone.

    I always have fun at shows. I LOVE HIP HOP!!! I love most of the artists as people so I guess I’m biased when it comes to being able to see past the vulgar stuff some of them talk a bout. I think that if more women came to shows, Baltimore’s artists would get better. Guys come to me all the time and ask me what I really think about their songs and performances. I tell them the truth. I have noticed that some of them are starting to be way more responsible. That is a good sign. I try to educate guys about proper song selection. When I put on events I like to hear the music they are gonna perform. I always promote to women more than guys. Women will bring men. So I have to make sure that the women in the audience will feel comfortable. Dudes seem to not be affected by much of anything. I think its time that they should.

    I am a captain in an army that is dedicated to cultivating and nurturing our local scene. Everyday I am signing up troupes. If you are a fighter, I most definitely need you on my team. Hit me at


    posted by C Love "The Rap Addict" @ 3/14/2006 03:17:00 PM   0 comments
    Hindsight is 20/20
    A friend [who will remain nameless] accidentally broke my camera ova the weekend. I will be back in biz in a few. In the meantime....Ima post some random thoughts I found when clearing some space on my hard drive..................
    (2004) - Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Guys?
    Baltimore is very ghetto fabulous and I guess I was caught with trying to keep up with the Joneses. When I was in high school and college I wouldn't give any of the guys I went to school with the time of day. At the time I really didn't see the point in dating someone that was wasn’t “paid”. Call me naïve. I was so programmed to think that the man for me would be "X" (what ever it was at the time). I was broke so what was I going to do with someone that probably had less than I did. I now wish that I would have known then all that I know now. I always wondered if the lessons that poor girls are taught are different from those taught to little boys. I think in many ways black girls are raised to be opportunist and to see a man as a way to change their current situation. It’s not until we look at our selves that we ask our self, "How long do I plan to prostitute my self"?
    I think that many professional women that grew up as I did have been through it all by the time they reach 30. Most will have dealt with a baller, a college boy, an older men, and some may have even dabbled with a girl or two before they are seriously ready for a stable relationship. Since you've already gone through the phase where you put up with stuff that you otherwise would not have been bothered with because you got a bill paid or got a new coat, you refuse to do it now that you have your own. You may not have every little thing you want, but you can damn sure buy every thing you need. I think most men in general mistake that the confidence that an independent woman exudes is arrogance or egotism, but usually it is a shell that has been developed over years of dealing with different types of men and getting the same result. I refuse to put up with crap because I don't have to. In life only a mother will love a bum unconditionally. Just like men expect black women to give them a break and stop being so mean, we need the black men to start being a little more understanding. It is hard for us. We work so hard just to get a little piece of something. The sad reality that we face is that it is not guaranteed that you will get a man to take care of you. When I say take care of you I am not talking about financially only. I am talking about protecting our feelings, caring for us if we fall ill and respecting us as the mother of this planet.
    What most people fail to realize is that all women want what they perceive to be a good man. Depending on your exposure, the neighborhood drug dealer may be the most appealing thing in sight. Ever wonder how a man with nothing legitimate can be a with a woman that is so on the ball? Usually its because that is all the woman has seen all of her life, these are the only kind of men she is used to dealing with and her expectations aren't really high. After holding out so long for a good guy you start to wonder if you are still attractive. I know that you shouldn't need anyone else to validate you, but it makes a woman feel like a woman when a man shows interest in her --at least every once in a while. I have so many guy friends that tell me the reason that guys are probably intimidated by me. Is that my probably or there's? Most guys either live under a cloud of prevailing hopelessness or they've bought into the notion that its okay for them to be a man whore. I have come to the realization that being a good woman is not enough. There are several good women to every man. Dating is like a high school gym class--men being the ones choosing teams. I feel like I am always being picked last because I don't try to do "sexy". My typical style of dress is very conservative. If I am sexy it is not because I am trying to be. Most men expect you to be sexy all the time. The kicker is that most men aren't sexy all of the time. There are SO many double standards when dating black men.
    Ever ask your self, "Why do good girls like bad guys?". I call myself a good girl because I did all the things a young lady is supposed to do. I graduated form High school, went on to finish college, landed a job with growth right out of college and I've never been pregnant. I can relate to the struggle of the professional black male that had humble beginning. I was always an around the way girl, but I did it with class. I need a man who has a similar background because I could respect him. Many of my colleagues give off the impression that their degrees entitle them to act uppity and many of them are from the hood. I can't forget where I came from because it is so much a part of me. I can't be with someone that doesn't remember playing its in the street or buying frozen cups or summer time block parties (or similar experiences) and be happy. Not that I do any of these things now, but I have to know when I reminisce on these events my man can feel me. Pressure makes diamonds and I think struggle and sacrifice build character.
    Just naw on dat for a shake! I know .........I know... it has nothing at all to do with rap, .............but its my life & I am Hip Hop! Its all relative!
    This is funny to me [2006] because much of the last paragraph is hogwash.....just gimme a man with a good heart, respect for my grind and willingness to be strong when I am weak. Ive simplified my list of demands...LOL! no wonder my high maintenance ass didn't have a man Lata yall!
    posted by C Love "The Rap Addict" @ 3/14/2006 03:00:00 PM   0 comments
    Mar 13, 2006
    Carmello's Kross Over
    According to Allhiphop.com and ballerstatus.com, Carmelo Anthony has launched a New Label.
    This is great news....but keep on reading........
    NBA superstar, Carmelo Anthony, may be successful in the world of the basketball, but can he cut it in music? Well, that's a chance he is now taking, with the launch of his own label, Kross Over Entertainment. The label's first artist will be Atlanta native, Berg, who is already bubbling in the underground with his single, "Hold Up," featuring UGK legend, Bun B. In addition to Berg, Anthony has signed artist/producer Soundz and an R&B singer by the name of Alesia Miller. Although the ball player will serve as company president, he enlisted the help of industry folk like Whop of 354 Entertainment, who will handle the day to day operation, and Parrish Johnson of Inde First (who is known for his effective marketing skills). Aside from the new label venture, Anthony has recently invested heavily in a forthcoming wireless communications firm. And is slated to play for the 2008 Olympic USA basketball team, along with other NBA stars such as Kobe Bryant, Amare Stoudemire, Dwyane Wade, and Gilbert Arenas, among others. *
    I didn't see anything in that story about Baltimore..LOL! should I have expected more? I know ima dreamer.
    I am so torn right now about how to feel about this news. There are so many examples of people that make it out of Baltimore only to overlook us when there is an opportunity to help us rise above the stigma associated with this city.
    The stigma:
    No ambition
    No business saavy
    Content with mediocracy
    etc...........please add your own
    This not just concerning music either
    Now please do not misunderstand me....I am not mad at Mello. As an investor...he no doubt looked over the facts surrounding his first acts (the numbers, track record, grind, team) and figured that these artists would prolly give him the best return on his investment...BUT DAMN! it still hurts to see it in black N white. Can B'More get a lil love? I know that if people with money came looking they would be blown away by the level of talent here. Plus we got madd variety...from conscious rap to horrorcore....and everything in between.
    I'd been hearing about Mello starting a label like 2 years ago. At that time it was said that he he was feeling Los. But after the Bloc disbanded....I didn't even hear anything about Los anymore. So to be honest...I hadn't given it anymore thought. Los is hot, but got daaaaaaaaaaaaam how is it that he wasn't feelin Skarr (I just don't get that one?)
    Speaking from a marketing perspective....Baltimore is on the come up and has made considerable gains (musically) during the last year [alone]........blowing up an artist from B'more (& he's from B'more) would have been too easy for his PR/Marketing team to push. He knows the city..the slang...he has the city behind him in a way that no rapper has ever had from Bmore.
    I must give him his props, Mello since day one has repped B'More....IMO goes out of his way to acknowledge his Ballermore roots. I wish I could find the image, but Bmore was on the bottom of his first shoe (may be on all of them, but I am not 100% sure).
    He comes back more than a lot of people....
    From the Nike Commercial shoot that the po po tried to shut down (simple cause they didn't "get" it) to the Stop Snitchin DVD fiasco that had important & extremly busy people like Elijah Cummings taking the time to go on radio and talk about how this man is not giving the youth the best role model.
    Uuuuuuum skuuuuuuuuuz me....politicians crack me up....that is why the youth do not identify with them and one of the reasons they don't vote.......
    The kid is a professional athelete, engaged to a beautiful woman, has a multi-million dollar endorsement deal with Jordan...etc....what more do the people want from him? ...plus...isn't he still under 21? How many 21 year old black men from B'more have jobs...LMBAO! ........j/k there are a few! 2 or 3
    No disrespect to EC (who I vote for without reservation every election), but Mello really wasn't even in the movie...I wonder did the politicians and news reporters even watch the entire movie...prolly not! FYI: his part is not what made the movie so polarizing. He was on their talkin shit. No he prolly should not have been there, but at the end of the day...we all live and learn.
    The media is always looking for a sound bite and Mello's name provided the vehicle that took the (what should have been) undergound DVD global (CNN mentioned Skinny Suge- Gots to love dat!)
    Mello should get a few royalty checks from that appearence....oh but then again...did anyone get any checks off that movie...LOL!? Just a wondering?
    What does this story say to Baltimore artists:
    There are people out here with money & they are looking to sign the next best thing. Its not always about being discovered by a big label...some people do quite well taking the indie route. Mello is making a statement.....its time for Baltimore acts to make their own. No doubt...he will be out here looking for MORE talent...this time be ready. I want to be able to come on here and proudly announce B'more's first Kross Over signee. He's already proven he has love for B'more...now its time to show him you are already making money...& you just need a lil of his to take you over the top!
    He's tellin you step your game up! Start making money off your art and I promise more people will want in on the action. He's already demostrated (TO THE WORLD) that WE are a talented bunch. Baltimore is a city from which great people arise- DO YOU BELIEVE? CONGRATS MELLO! Keep on making us proud. Keep on keeping B'more on the tips of people's tongues. photo courtesy of carmeloanthony.com
    posted by C Love "The Rap Addict" @ 3/13/2006 04:02:00 PM   0 comments
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